White And Nerdy

Jocks and nerds. Everyone knows they go together like oil and water. Movies like Revenge of the Nerds highlight this universal rivalry. I've been a certified nerd since my grade school days. My fellow geeky friends and I never did get along with the jocks back then, whether they were male or female. This continued into my adult life; even though I work out, the glasses and the fact that I have a working brain still keeps me in the "dork" category. However, I thought my days of being pushed around by jocks was over.



And then....I went to the Arnold Sports Festival.

For those of you who aren't familiar with it, Columbus has hosted the Arnold for years now. The "Arnold" involved is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Yes, that Arnold. The Terminator. Conan. The Governator. This event consists of competitions for over 40 different sports, from weightlifting to fencing to gymnastics. And Arnold is present for a lot of these events. It draws competitors and exhibitors from all over the world, and it's estimated to bring in over 200,000 people. Hundreds of vendors sell products for bodybuilders and fitness buffs. It's huge.

This is the first time I ever ventured to the Arnold. I never had the desire to go, but was always curious as to what the fuss was all about. My Mom acquired free tickets, so my parents drove up and took C and I to this extravaganza.

Holy crap.

Imagine a sea of people in a somewhat enclosed space with lots of bright lights and stuff going on all around you. The scent of sweat, oil, and bad aftershave immediately enters your nostrils. Now imagine that those people are about three times your size, as orange as Snooki, and at least a foot taller than you, so you can't actually see what's going on around you. Then picture being pushed aside by these people over and over because they need to get through to try a sample of stuff like chocolate egg whites. (Ew, by the way. I couldn't bring myself to try it!)

It reminded me of high school. These massive men (and women) were the rudest folks ever, shoving people, running into people, and not even saying "excuse me". Ick. I don't know why I was surprised, but wow. I felt even worse for C. She's shorter than me, and couldn't see a thing practically the whole time we were there. We were like pinballs, constantly being bumped by giant jerks. I don't love crowds anyway, but I can usually handle them. Today, I was simply annoyed. I knew I didn't belong there, that was obvious. But the added disdain I saw in some of these people's eyes as they looked right at me while running into me...it honestly seemed hostile. I was just glad there were no lockers available for them to stuff me in, and I kept looking over my shoulder in the restrooms as to watch out for a "swirly" attack.

Before you say it: No, I am not jealous of these people. I'm all for being healthy, but the women there scared the shit out of me. I don't use the word "ginormous" very often, but no other word could adequately describe these ladies. And the men thought they were the hottest studs on the planet. They were the stereotypical jocks. They knew they looked good. Hot body or not, a cocky attitude doesn't do it for me, particularly when I can practically see the "vacancy" sign flashing on someone's forehead.

I know some of my readers are into guys with six-pack abs, the huge biceps, etc. If that's for you, I recommend attending this event. Maybe you'll enjoy being pushed around by big, bumpy guys. (Hey, everyone has a fetish!) As for me, my first time at the Arnold will be my last time at the Arnold. Sorry I'm not a chick who is built like either a stick wearing next to nothing or a 200 pound bodybuilder wearing next to nothing. I remain an average-sized nerd who isn't impressed by male bravado and spray-tans.