At the Crossroads I Am Standing

I have been in school for a little over a year now. I am currently pursuing my degree in Business Administration. Many people tell me that finishing what I started fifteen years ago is a good thing; having a degree increases my chances of finding a good paying job, which simultaneously increases my opportunity of being successful. I cannot deny that I want that.

Here is the problem: My ultimate desire is to write for a living. I would love nothing more than to become a successful novelist. I want to let the world know what has been going on in this weary, crazy head of mine. I dream of writing a best-selling book that everyone, including critics, will rave about.


Why is this a problem? There are three main reasons. First off, I have a full time day job. School is rough enough while working full time, let alone finding the time to sit and write! There really are not enough hours in a day to import the thoughts from my head onto a Word document, study for class, and work. I only have class once a week, but the load of homework we are assigned each week is staggering. Usually, I read at least two chapters of a subject I am not interested in, and there is at least one paper due each week. The last part I don't mind so much; even though the subject matter is not ideal, at least I have chance to use my abilities for something.

The second reason: I find myself working on my own stuff rather than my reading and papers for school. I currently have really good grades and I do enjoy learning. Right now, however, school is becoming a distraction. This shouldn't happen; I realize I need to keep my eyes on the prize, but it is becoming increasingly difficult when my heart tells me to ignore the paper about Marian Theology that is due in two days and develop my antagonist instead.

The third, and arguably most important problem: I am in a long-term relationship. So much of my time is consumed by all of the other aspects of my life that finding the time to spend together has become quite challenging. Relationships take work, and I feel as though I am not pulling my weight like I should be. While my significant other is supportive, I am also aware that my lack of attentiveness (and lack of sleep) is becoming an issue.

So, unfortunately, this is my present conundrum: how do I make more time for writing? Better yet, how do I find the balance between my obligations and my dreams? The fact that I have less than a year of school left is encouraging, but I do not possess the gift of patience. My fear is that I will miss out on things, and it could be too late. Some say it is never too late to start anything; I am hoping that whoever uttered those words is correct.